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FIRST BOOK OF INSTRUCTIONS


HOW TO SINGE

1) Taste your shadow in the soup
2) Cage your neck and run
3) Fry your tube and listen
4) Drop your bee and towel
5) Say your foot and chisel
6) Climb your meat and wallet
7) Age your pocket in the ladder

HOW TO DRIP

1) Plunge your earlobe in the hair
2) Dodge your cow and summer
3) Flake your seam and temblor
4) Pile your flume and toothache
5) Shore your gasp and buttock
6) Climb your stun and shoulder
7) Lake your trousers in the eyesight

HOW TO COFFEE

1) Jerk your lens in the rorrim
2) Hash your leg and licnep
3) Runt your lip and ymotcenmos
4) Say your cloud and anut
5) Name your rash and rettij
6) Stun your hump and redloc
7) Cheek your slap and sehsa

HOW TO SPANSION

1) Hunch your yalc in the fono
2) Drape your elutsup and spin
3) Fry your epahs and tubal
4) Comp your ria and sumpage
5) Rinse your egaggul and mister
6) Paint your strohs and flagger
7) Flap your ados in the toweling

HOW TO STREAM

1) Pinch your loaf and usher
2) Nag your lago in the closet
3) Dump your spine in the trunk
4) Age your folder in the faucet
5) Ham your hanger in the tampon
6) Cringe your index in the compost
7) Jump your slag and whistle

HOW TO FUNNEL

1) Knab your ham and crystal
2) Egderd your anus and gun
3) Kcolf your damp and sausage
4) Devac your spork and vaseline
5) Egduls your clock and storming
6) Kconk your bags and sputter
7) Knird your hack and aguacate

HOW TO SHIFT

1) Sore my dreamer in the cabbage
2) Dried my dock and soap
3) Red my lung and drinking
4) Flies my punch and boomer
5) Sprawled my huff and looming
6) Sew my chuffed and clam
7) Rant my soaker in the news

HOW TO RABBIT

1) Fling your cudgel off the floor
2) Aim your pool and nodder
3) Sap your phone and crimp
4) Day your bone and rolodex
5) Time your drop and curtain
6) Drag your house and beans
7) Spray your fingers off the spandex


HOW TO DUMP

1) Drag my inking through the trihs
2) Noun my hsah and cube
3) Pay my ssurt and spray
4) Name my hctulc and heart attack
5) Pledge my hctorc and windy
6) Sank my eohs and gristle
7) Pinch my calendar through the loaf

HOW TO THOUGHT

1) Dung his lirtson in the speeding
2) Slag his fork and elbuod
3) Gauge his esoon and salad
4) Find his knilb and cubit
5) Fore his kcar and nibble
6) Pine his whoosh and ihsus
7) Dang his noitacirbul in the clusters

HOW TO TOWEL

1) Guest his shirt and run
2) Flake his linguine on the dil
3) Spot his lenses on the rewolf
4) Blank his tweezers on the kcos
5) Yank his gusher on the gniknalc
6) Huff his solder on the enizagam
7) Gape his plow and sinking


HOW TO NOT

1) Lack of inches in the planner
2) Lack of bushes in the spinner
3) Lack of finish in the wallet
4) Lack of grunt in the souping
5) Lack of grommet in the salads
6) Lack of cashers in the trance
7) Lack of dungeon in the sodas

How to Slobber

1) Race the nickel in your shoe
2) Comb your stop and collar
3) Lube your pin and tubing
4) Place your gash and try
5) Clap your whee and thumb
6) Foam my inch and said
7) Drop the tissue in your clock


How To Hill

1) Slake your mud and temple
2) Chase the napkin in the toilet
3) Cry the stomach in the bullet
4) If the dormer in the lamp
5) Pry the focus in the beetle
6) Crown the finite in the circle
7) Age your climb and salmon

How Was Ham

1) Tabled for a waterfall
2) Glazed inside the soak
3) Fought inside the blink
4) Dime inside the hamster
5) Uncle inside the trouser
6) Nap inside the tool
7) Laughed inside the pillow
8) Bung inside the fork
9) Lathered for a singularity


How You Glans

1) Ape the ssenisub in the toilet
2) Slap your hcuoc and dumpster
3) Change your kculc and luggage
4) Hand your eman and blunt
5) Frame your ekohc and knob
6) Pie your elip and nib
7) Humps the gnihsurc in your shorts

How He Itch

1) Dump the clamor in the dnop
2) Jack your cloud and nikpan
3) Jowl your sew and gnisuod
4) Crap your pens and elbmur
5) Jester your clot and tunod
6) Bungee your funnel and staolf
7) Hash your piles and elpmet
8) Days the fingered in the sesproc


How We Spatter

1) Dodge the foamer in the kcottub
2) Crash your bender in the elzzup
3) Job your pilot in the llewthgil
4) Cold your fester in the tellub
5) Lodge your numen in the ekalfnroc
6) Hunch your loafer in the snolemretaw
7) Latch the juicy in the rebmilc

How To Finger

1) Spend your insole like a tongue
2) Lab your rio like a scissor
3) Age your thumb and tuna
4) Lob your flung and spender
5) Sent your flag and napalm
6) Haul your cash and nostril
7) Plunge your nekkid like a lawnchair
8) Fan your peaches like a towel bar

How To Simpered

1) Egnahc the index in your lint
2) Pots your corn and tubal
3) Lian your bush and tip
4) Hsar your lung and fable
5) Gnud your pit and arm
6) Dalas your ouch and elbuod
7) Worc the stomach in your pistol


How To Fungus

1) Page ramp her speller
2) Tos lwoh her slip
3) Spring phone her wallow
4) Hctip laem her segnops
5) Mile meat her wind
6) Knil poh her srehtaef
7) Bird inch her follow

How To Rice

1) Sap shoulder off her leep
2) Cage number off her sgnirps
3) Sup your cost and leather
4) High your pocked and deals
5) Flame your sung and junking
6) Jack corner off her loop
7) Latch tendons off her rehtal

How To Lexectomy

1) Pile your ham my sehsidar
2) Numb your claims and dowling
3) Cash your log and reeling
4) Plunge your list and awl
5) Slops your page and isolation
6) Stitch your ink and colonoscopy
7) Nab your coal my tfilkrof

How To Simple

1) Lob the remool in your sehsa
2) Lack your couch and regnif
3) Budge your belt and redlof
4) Hymn your faucets and gof
5) Lodge your booms and but
6) Meat your cloudy and gnippalf
7) Codger the setanro in your gnippolf

How To Lib

1) Cage the blood folding your eye
2) Stop the cube and limit
3) Push the bush and torn
4) Crap the steel and tape
5) Haul the lunge and dipping
6) Meal the storm and closet
7) Page the mud scolding your thigh

How To Vista

1) Budge your mucs and trailer
2) Clock the tibbar in your feel
3) Snap the gnihcnuh in your club
4) Aim the esoh in your usage
5) Fail the gnul in your stunk
6) Buy the dolp in your heel
7) Cling your pmuh and nodding

How To Palm

1) Stung hoop and ralloc
2) Apes your pine and eveels
3) Dimes your hoop and nisuoc
4) Knack your flung and nezod
5) Deeps your house and elkcin
6) Arfs your bud and tah
7) Fog chink and sresuort

How to Lumber Natter

1) Nudge my damp and repeerc
2) Bait your sole and ytsud
3) Nape your cow and snetsil
4) Stop your pool and nezorf
5) Steal your hall and reteeks
6) Dome your bun and rebbur
7) Slake my crash and regnits


How To Waters

1) Pmuls some hamsters in your heel
2) Egap the clamp and dimness
3) Kcos the roof and tube
4) Egar the rife and lips
5) Dworc the up and down
6) Tsim the clustering and knife
7) Laem some pencils in your fungus


How To Fonder

1) Lift the cocos in your shoulder
2) Plank the ice and crumb
3) Bites the bin and leaf
4) Hide the naps and kasha
5) Ripe the drum and headache
6) Mile the breast and hanger
7) Splash the sausage in your spinning


How To Isolation

1) Sneak and remmah off his bonus
2) Climb your eci and garbage
3) Bang your kool and folder
4) Wife your bmun and dollar
5) Tap your duc and boston
6) Loop your ssam and drying
7) Thing and ishus off his cornering

How To Simper

1) Flake the shivering in your hsurbhtoot
2) Aim your cake and nur
3) Hobble your sound and ecin
4) Dump your ouch and gnivaeh
5) Scald your trash and stnur
6) Dodge your flame and peerc
7) Same the creaking in your debrewolf


How To Bottles

1) Evarg your sandwich in her suitcase
2) Etib her nap and comb
3) Tolp her chug and pen
4) Eveels her plink and poison
5) Yub her songster shoulders
6) Tew her bait and saw
7) Nups your meters in her briefcase

How To Nozzle

1) Spell your vacuum cleaner like a crust
2) Sing your pustule like a flag
3) Drop your muscle like a northern
4) Slip your fisticuffs like a spins
5) Grapple your toilet like a spirit
6) Find your finger like a dustcloud
7) Rust your business like a chairseat

How To Seems

1) Gulp the ham and gaping test
2) Foor your lop and pole
3) Emit your lunch and luggage
4) Luof your sap and spot
5) Epahs your cusp and cold
6) Emim your gown and guts
7) Emils the gust and storming cats

How To Hunch or Ehecatl

1) Bulc the swallow in your arm
2) Ehca your corn and window
3) Enim your best and nippers
4) Dehs your like a trollop
5) Ega your toot and flailing
6) Enots your rice and carving
7) Hcnul the focal in your lock


How To Meatball

1) Ekal your corner shadow
2) Pu the knockers in your elbow
3) Tsen the floodgates in your eyebrow
4) Bad the sandstorm in your shoelace
5) Enim the uppers in your glower
6) Dlof the napkins in your icesheets
7) Tae your slugfest drainhole

How To Ammunition

1) Bang the srezod past your furnace
2) Sigh your ecil and number
3) Flat your knurd and stapler
4) Mine your pac and gassing
5) Bong your hsup and nodder
6) Rail your elif and toiler
7) Drape the rednef past your indication

How To Uppers

1) Your trouble spent your cubage
2) Fan the bomb you spent the caging
3) Doll the map you spent the crunching
4) Flag the tub you spent the signal
5) Ropes the gnat you spent the lightbulb
6) Guile the pork you spent the shamzine
7) Sank the bean you spent the clucking
8) Your inches spent your streaming

How To Conk

1) Sloppy shoe and gasoline
2) Dug the crust and giggling
3) Pain the stock and floppy
4) Moat the path and tooling
5) Rash the isolation and wrist
6) Knack the points and liverwurst
7) Spongy loop and micturation


How To How To

1) Glop hat and ekalf your puddle
2) Mote your gnulf and riddle
3) Spy your pmur and noodle
4) Drink your hsah and modal
5) Clog your tun and sodden
6) Kak your tnup and dwindle
7) Shot spat and ekac your middle

How To Chew

1) Cry your dampness in the spoon
2) Last your fire in the eggplant
3) Pool your lumber in the knowledge
4) Bile your beancake in the bushes
5) Spore your shoulder in the linguini
6) Crap your bloating in the nestegg
7) Dry your ranting in the broom


How To Breed

1) Rule lung and drape your gnippos
2) Shape the lung and gniduolc
3) Snake the lung and gnikoms
4) Pile the dung and gnituohs
5) Spay the lung and remoor
6) Dry the lung and hsifdrows
7) Fool lung and strike your egabbac


How To Think

1) Jake your pocket in the sink
2) Dry your eyebrow in the sink
3) Sped your phonebill in the sink
4) While your booming in the sink
5) Flap your flavors in the sink
6) Crisp your tongue in the sink
7) Fly your minding in the sink


How To Use

1) Use dunk and pile
2) Use plenty and norm
3) Use roof and steam
4) Use ruckus and door
5) Use hole and troop
6) Use map and tremble
7) Use throat and double
8) Use bind and sender
9) Use pits and mountain

How To Up And

1) Up cramp and rednes
2) Up shot and krod
3) Up mist and lewot
4) Up rule and murd
5) Up seal and elbuort
6) Up rod and htrof
7) Up dup and dnas
8) Up crumb and wolg
9) Up try and onroh

How To Ewe

1) Sock sheep and eulc luggage
2) Mile sump and eulc snored
3) Rat spill and eulc rosin
4) Foal clunk and eulc root
5) Bed snide and eulc sang
6) Thought trough and eulc mortar
7) Ink wool and eulc trotting

How To Loosely

1) Elbuod cluster in your fundus
2) Ekilekans roofing in your pencil
3) Tellam treeline in your photos
4) Elssut egakcael in your shopping
5) Gnittops misters in your U Meat
6) Sgod slotting in your poontang
7) Srorrim dabbled in your soupbowl


How To Know

1) Flake your mileage in your shirtsleeve
2) Gland your mileage glancer
3) Spell your mileage spooner
4) Bank your mileage roomer
5) Nuts your mileage shaper
6) Spread your mileage custard
7) Gate your mileage in your rafter

 


John Bennett, Ph.D - is the Curator of The Ohio State University Libraries Avant Writing Collection, Rare Books & Manuscripts Library
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