Airline departure 
schedules are best viewed as
aspirational

Show me a cool rock
flick on PBS and I'll
show you a pledge drive

Poor Steve Bannon, he
thought the only one he had
to suck was his own

Paul Manafort: Go
to Jail, do not collect
200 Rubles

Legal pot is here to
stay, you can't put the genie
back inside the bong

Jefferson Sessions-
easily the worst of the
Airplane splinter groups

Carlin's seven words
you can't say were much more fun
than the CDC's

Donald Trump asks Oz,
for courage, brain, heart; 'Sorry,
bro,' says the Wizard

For Trump to face a
jury of peers, the venue
should be the Eighth Circle

Zaeger and Evans
may have been optimistic
by five hundred years

Dunning and Kruger
merely proved what Three Stooges
fans already knew