Kihei Caffe

Kihei, Hawaii

We will close out the Fat Mule Review “travel section” right back where we started it, Maui, Hawaii.  So we went to a restaurant called "Da Kitchen" we had heard about.  We were in Maui to attend a wedding and a couple of friends accompanied us.  They were Hawaii virgins so we were trying to show them the full diversity of the island.  I had read in Yelp that a place named "Da Kitchen" was almost universally loved by both locals and by tourists. 

We pulled in four minutes after they stopped serving breakfast and they would not crack an egg for us.  The greeter there suggested Kihei Caffe (Yes that is the way they spell it).  All of us are so glad that she did.  Kihei Caffe is what some would call a hole in the wall but I would eat here every day of my life if I could.  Also, there is no "in" at the Kihei Caffe as you order at a counter then get an table under an umbrella on the sidewalk.  "Da Kitchen" was almost empty when we left.  Kihei was packed.  That says something.  You order first and they bring your order out to your table.  I had the number 7 breakfast.  Yes, that is what it is called.  It is a cheese omelet and they make it the way you want it.  I had spinach, mushrooms, Maui onion and jalapeno.  Just for kicks I had Spam also.  Hawaii is the largest per capita consumer of Spam in the world and they do magic with it. 

The omelet was perfectly prepared.  Fluffy, not a speck of burned egg on it, generous amounts of the added ingredients paired with home fries and toast.  I have seldom had an omelet that approached this one including the ones I make myself.  But we are not finished because in addition to wonderful food, the service was incredible, personal, friendly and prompt.  They serve many of their dishes with either locally produced pork sausage links or locally cured bacon.  Both were well above average but the bacon was outstanding.  It was cooked perfectly, was thick cut, mildly smoky and savory with a bit of sweet.  We still talk about the bacon we had at the Kehei Caffe.

But that was not the only thing that we liked.  They have a great banana macadamia French toast or pancake.  I had Eggs Benedict that were very nice.  They didn't have shaved truffles on top but we were in Maui and not in France.  I didn't miss it.   They serve a creditable Fried Pork and rice with scrambled eggs. I never saw or ate anything that was not good.

There is one last thing you should know about Hawaii including Maui.  They have a local dish called "Loco Moco" (loh-koo moh-koo).  This is a dish that is unique to Hawaii and includes a number of variations grouped under one name.  The elements that unite them are rice, usually white, a hamburger patty, gravy, with an egg on top.  There are cities on the Mainland that can only serve this dish with a release from your doctor.  They are served everywhere in Hawaii and I like them a lot.  It is good familiar, stick to your ribs and midriff comfort food.  The Kehei Caffe does the dish justice.  If you go to Hawaii you should try a Loco Moco.  First served in 1949 at the Lincoln Grill on the island of Hilo it has become a cultural and culinary icon for Hawaii. 

There are exactly two things that I wished were different.  The cutlery was plastic and comical in how flimsy they were.  Essentially this is street food so I understand.  The second thing is more formidable and more difficult to accept.  The birds of Maui also like street food.  They are brazen in what they will do to steal your food.  Once when we were there a bird swooped down and lighted on a diners shoulder.  That caused a row and in the squealing and arm flapping diversion two other birds dive bombed down and snagged fruit right out of her fruit salad (seasonal fruit).  Then the first bird hopped onto the table, snagged the last grape and flew off.  Do not leave your order unattended.  If you have a need to find a bathroom, do so in shifts.

You might have birds to contend with but the view is stunning.  We sat at a table overlooking Keawakapu Beach Park.  Young ladies in the briefest swim suits walked by along with Speedo wearing men.  You could hear the birds; feel the Maui breeze all under a warm sun and blue skies.  The perfect closer for us was the prices.  Maui can be expensive and the prices here were as reasonable as we would expect in Columbus Ohio.  If you ever get the chance this is a once in a lifetime experience.  If you leave right now you should be in time for breakfast tomorrow.