Hipster Jesus

Hipster Jesus
was into the
Word of God
before it was cool

Hipster Jesus
turned water into
mimosas
at the Last Brunch

Hipster Jesus
in a Fedora of Thorns
bore a sustainable cross
to Calvary Hill

"What a sell-out"
said Hipster Thomas
unimpressed by the
Resurrection

The Real Miss Universe

Once a misnomer,
wormholes made Miss Universe
a cosmic contest

Miss Mars competed
as did Miss Venus, shooting
one theory down

In the interview
round, Miss Jupiter wished for
"Universal Peace"

Playing two flutes with
each mouth, Miss Saturn aced
the talent portion

Miss Ganymede, a
slime mold, lost points forfeiting
the swimsuit contest

All pageants have their
controversies, and this one
was no exception:

Judges from Neptune
and Dagon were caught trying
to peddle their votes;

Miss Kepler 10 b
was ruled asexual and
thus disqualified;

And the emcee from
Earth mispronounced a few names,
some rather rudely

There could be only
one winner--Miss Saturn, though
she did have ten heads