The Unreal World

Used to be, everything was fine until Labor Day. Summer vacation stretched on until there was a distinct nip in the morning air. Either that or until the Jerry Lewis telethon had concluded – whichever came first. Thoughts of school did not need to intrude upon one’s enjoyment of summer, the one season blissfully free from teachers, students, classes, and study. Not that there’s anything necessarily wrong with education per se, mind you. It’s just the mandatory nature of things like homework and tests, and the pressure of it all. And I’m not just talking about the kids’ viewpoint. The teachers look at it pretty much the same way. I know, because I lived in both worlds. In any case, summer vacation now ends in mid-August. The state fairs haven’t even all concluded across the U.S. of A. before teachers and students must report to work. Funnel cakes and fried watermelon haven’t yet been fully digested, and it’s time to research school lunch menus for anything palatable. There’s something very wrong going on here.

What’s the rush? Do we really need high school football in 85 degree weather? With global warming and all, the heat is only going to become more intense, and stretch further into autumn. Schools must adjust. Instead of starting in August, maybe November would be better. That way, students and teachers could look forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks right away to keep them properly motivated. In addition, parents could dispense with purchasing cute summer outfits for their kids to wear to school, and go straight for the North Face fleece jackets and Eddie Bauer crampons.

Let’s face it, the whole school experience is perceived as an artificial environment. Most students look upon schooling as something to get through and put behind them. Get it over with, and get out in the “real world” – you know, the place where you can make some money. Sure, you might need to get some letters after your name to do really well, and that might mean a few more years of schooling, but it could pay off. And if you don’t want to go that route, there’s always professional sports, if you’re talented enough. If you are not great at football, basketball, or baseball, do not despair. Today, with the proliferation of cable sports networks, there’s a demand for skilled foosball and corn hole players as well. If that’s too strenuous for you, there’s also the professional poker tour, and there’s always bowling. You don’t go for that either? How about the military. Don’t worry about possibly enlisting in the middle of a war. We now have a great deal-making president, a real stable genius. He administers a twitter tongue lashing to all potential enemies (except Russia), creates a crisis, organizes a photo op/summit, and announces that everything has been solved. No problem.

The main thing is to get out in the real world where the action is, where there’s a chance to make a profit and get ahead. One word of advice, however. You might want to speak to those who have been out there a while. Some of them describe it as kind of dog-eat-dog. They say that when the bottom line is everything, personnel is sometimes regarded as nothing. Industry operates on the at-will employment standard. You can be fired for any reason or no reason. In return, you are given the right to quit anytime you want. (At least they recognize that you aren’t a literal slave.) You may be required to work 50 or 60 hour weeks, and overtime is mandatory. But, hey, at least you’re in the real world. And you can always get some relief by joining a union, right? Wrong, unions have been decimated. You heard of right to work? No advantage to joining a union anymore, since non-union employees get all the same benefits (if there are any left) by not joining. You didn’t want to join anyway, so go bargain your own contract as an individual with the corporation, and tell me how it turns out. Not so good? The government may be able to help. You know, the government run by that great deal maker and man of the people. The same government that believes a federal minimum wage of $7.25/hour is A-OK.

So, maybe things don’t look so good in the real world after all, huh? Maybe school isn’t so bad. So what if it starts in August. It’s over in May. And in the months in between, maybe you could learn something that’s actually useful. Who knows? Anything’s possible.