Ted got me started writing in 2000, back in the Crapshoot! days. I don’t think I’ve seen him more than once since he moved to the West Coast either. The fact that my wife Yvonne was finally able to utilize some frequent flyer points and also our friends Margaret and Craig would drive down from Santa Cruz and spend time with us, was icing on the wedding cake!

I found a delightful looking bed and breakfast called The Turret House online and immediately made reservations. And once we arrived we were not disappointed. Hosts Jeff and Brian live in the apartment above the garage and give guests free reign over their charming, yet funky enough to be fun, establishment.

There is free wine and beer and anyone is welcome to use the spacious kitchen…as long as they clean up. I’ve stayed at one too many B & Bs where…as Jeff so aptly put it “Better stay out of Gramma’s kitchen!” Here I felt right at home. And Jeff is a native of Vermillion, Ohio so we could reminisce about Lake Erie trivia. Yet the best part of the hospitality was ambassadors Winston and Waldo, two delightfully ornery English Bulldogs! I happened upon Winston my first morning stumbling down to the dining room for my waking cup of coffee. Winston sashayed over to me and demanded I scratch his back with such Churchillian authority his snorts almost sounded like “We shall fight on the beaches! We shall fight on the land grounds!”

Slightly jet lagged, the two of us explored the neighborhood the remainder of the afternoon and wandered into an old school seafood restaurant called King’s Fish House for an early dinner…at least by West Coast time. While a little lacking in creativity, the food was excellent nonetheless.

Since Craig and Margaret weren’t coming for a day yet, and Ted and Christy were busy with bachelor parties (a Dodgers’ game), et al, Yvonne and I spent our first full morning eating a leisurely breakfast, getting to know Brian, Jeff and the boys a bit. Then we strolled down to the port and once there decided to take the ferry over to Catalina Island. While this was an extravagance (we only had the afternoon and it was 66 dollars a person round trip…but hey…I got my very first “Senior Citizen” discount!) the experience proved to be wonderful. The boat ride was fun (windy as hell but fun), moving past the Queen Mary, out to sea and finally ending up on beautiful Catalina Island was good for our collective souls.

The two of us had a romantic lunch looking out over the Pacific at a fabulous place called Armstrong’s Fish Market in Avalon. And after a short walk we had to ride back to the mainland. I told you it was an extravagance…but hey…you only live once right?

Craig and Margaret were at the Turret House once we returned. We sat around getting reacquainted and asked Brian to recommend a place to eat. We decided on George’s Greek Cafe. It was all right. But Armstrong’s earlier had set the bar too high for this establishment to compete.

After dinner we got lost, drove around and around Long Beach enough to become almost intimate with its streets and byways, but finally made our way to Ted and Christy’s house. We had a great night of drinking, chatting, and laughing. Christy…who I had never met before…turned out to be an angel. Along with their dog Ginger, they are a wonderful family!

The following day…Friday…was Craig’s birthday. So it was up to him to decide what to do. First we made our way to Seal Beach. I forgot my camera. At first I was pissed off at myself, until I realized the beach was nice enough but pretty generic. And from our beach blanket we had a good view of an offshore oilrig. I guess we better get used to this huh? Especially if The Curmudgeon Chameleon and Bambi somehow get elected.

And it will come as no surprise to anyone who knows Craig that Friday evening was spent at a sporting event…baseball. Anaheim stadium is only 20 miles from Turret House. Yet between our usual lost state of reality and the traffic it took us about 90 minutes to get there. This doomed us to eat stadium fare. Depending on the stadium this isn’t always a bad situation. And I thought since we were on the West Coast certainly the Angels would provide a 21st Century baseball dining experience. Boy was I wrong.

Eating peanuts and nachos with fake cheese was only amplified by the boredom that is Angel’s stadium. (I do not recall the actual, official name but I don’t care to remember it really.) Maybe you are familiar with the rocky fountain in left field? On television it looks kind of charming. In person it looks like a giant pile of dog…er…a giant pile of rubble.

Long Beach is in transition…birthing a renaissance if you will. What impressed me is the mass transit options. There are buses, cabs and trolleys. To help visitors city stewards roam the streets on Segways!

Saturday was wedding day. But the ceremony wasn’t until late afternoon. So Craig, Margaret, Yvonne and I took a drive up to Sunset Boulevard. There we had a wonderful lunch at Crudo Bar Ristorantie. The owner is a relative of Margaret’s (don’t ask me how…I have enough trouble keeping track of my own family.)

Aware of being situated in Hollywood I saw a lot of strutting but no one famous. Not that I would know someone famous if I saw one. Perhaps somebody famous saw ME! “Hey! Isn’t that the SUNFISH GUY?!!” Or maybe someone recognized Margaret as “the woman related to Crudo’s owner!!”

We not only got the full tour of the new restaurant, but were shown an exhibit they helped sponsor in the art space directly behind Crudo’s. The hand crafted motorcycles…choppers…were quite breathtaking really.

I’m not much for putting on the dog…but the wedding was semi-formal I guess you could say. And it was held at The Museum of Latin American Art. So especially for Ted and Christy I cleaned up real good! And at the reception Ted showed his thanks by having the D.J. play the B52s’ “Rock Lobster” so Yvonne…an especially me…could go out on the dance floor and pretend we were having a mild seizure in their honor!

We wished the newlyweds luck and spent the late hours on the Turret House front porch drinking wine and saying our goodbyes to Craig and Margaret. You know…a wedding…or visiting friends isn’t technically a vacation. But in this case…Margaret, Craig, Ted, and new friends Christy, Ginger, Jeff, Brian, Winston and Waldo made this the finest four days Yvonne and I have experienced in a long…long…Long Beach…time.