The Non – Fiction Theater of the Truly Mundane
proudly presents:
Qualifications
by
Rick Brown
Scene: A sparse, mostly business-like office in the backroom of a large university library. It’s the beginning of fall semester … sometime in the mid 1990s …and young, exuberant, fresh faced students are coming and going. Almost all of them are looking for a student job in the library. Rick sits patiently at his desk. He has been “interviewing” ... such as it is … for most of the day … without much luck finding suitable employees. An innocent looking, pigtailed blonde woman clutching her Human Resources paperwork, tentatively approaches Rick.
Rick – Hello. Who do we have here?
Rebecca – My name is Rebecca SIR.
Rick (cringing slightly) – I’m Rick. Please have a seat.
Rebecca (thrusting her papers in Rick’s direction) – They told me to have you sign these.
Rick -Yes. If I hire you. And odds are good I will. But first let’s have a short interview okay?
Rebecca (while nervously pulling on one of her pigtails) – Okay.
Rick – Where are you from Rebecca?
Rebecca (her voice cracking slightly) – Sandusky County. My family owns a farm 15 miles from Clyde.
Rick – Really? My parents lived in Clyde briefly. There’s not much happening around there.
Rebecca looks a little hurt.
Rick – So. What work experience do you have?
Rebecca – The farm.
Rick – Never worked in a library?
Rebecca – Just the farm.
Rick - No paper route?
Rebecca – My brother did. I helped him once.
Rick – Are you at all familiar with how a library works.
Rebecca - I never worked in one. I brought a book back late once and the lady made me pay a dollar.
Rick – I see.
Rick slowly picks up Rebecca’s paperwork, grabs a pen and begins signing his name.
Rick – So Rebecca … tell me this. Have you ever FLOWN a KITE?
Rebecca (startled) – Why? Uh … yes …. YES I HAVE!
Rick (handing her the signed paperwork) – CLOSE ENOUGH!!!
Curtain
Cast:
Rick – his sarcastic, book pushing self
Rebecca – her pigtailed … wet behind the ears … farm girl self
Secret Epilogue:
Rebecca never returned.
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Daddies Shouldn't Breakdance,
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